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keepingitsimple

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Sometimes when I first meet people i'd like to tear every bad part of what I am out of myself and place it in front of them. Just to see if they'd like to stay along for the ride or get up and walk away.

Wouldn't things be so much easier if we could do that.

I want my restart button.

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I'm freaking out big time.

I have an appointment coming up soon for my jaw to figure out if i'm going through with the surgery or not. I have to have an echo cardiogram done because my EKG showed an abnormality, one of my ventricles is pumping faster than the others and it could be from nerves but just to be sure I need to get it done. It's bull shit because I have never had a heart problem ever, no chest pain or tightness or anything. Hell, even my blood pressure is at the low end of the normal scale. I hope to god it's just from me being nervous or the new girl setting them on me in the wrong places.

Then I have to have an appointment to get an endoscopy done because not only do heart problems run in the family but so does colon cancer.


I'm so freaked out right now.

Oh and I almost hit three people on the road today because I kept passing out, I fucking hate being a narcoleptic.


I really need someone to comfort me and I don't have anyone to do that. Even if I was with Hans still, he doesn't do the comfort thing.


Ugh
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I'm so sick of everything.

Maybe I fucked everything up from the beginning.

Maybe we shouldn't have dated or maybe we should have been more persistent to change and maybe he shouldn't have always insulted me.

Maybe I need a nice long break.

I'm not going out this whole weekend.

Sleeping pills and booze in the bath tub, sounds like a good weekend to me

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4 to 3, such a good game.
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Sometimes I feel like starting over.
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MY  BROTHER'S HOME!
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I need everyones number AGAIN, my dog ate my new phone.
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